I know, I know, deadlines, right? Better late than never! Here is my entry to this last week’s Turn-a-Trope Tuesday, “Good People Have Good Sex.” Sometimes, it just isn’t so…
“Silver Fox, you vixen, you!” cried out the Scarlet Saber with delight, “Don’t think I haven’t heard!”
The Fox blushed, and on her silvered skin, it glowed a deep, dark crimson befitting her BFF’s nom-de-vigilance.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Scarlet.”
“Please, sweetie. I have super senses, remember? I heard your door close three miles away, and the voice, thanking you for a wonderful night…at breakfast? If that wasn’t Captain Amazing, then I will hang up my bloody saber right now and never fight crime again!”
The Fox sighed. Well, if one couldn’t be honest with her besty…
“You’re right…it *was* Captain Amazing. He…uh…well…he came over for dinner…”
“And stayed for breakfast?” Scarlet interrupted with a wink. Silver Fox nodded shyly.
“Oh, you have to do better than that, love,” Scarlet prodded, “This is Captain Amazing we’re talking about! So tall, so broad shouldered, so perfectly chiseled, so impeccably dressed…such a large…codpiece…”
A glimmer of something crossed the Fox’s face, and Scarlet, her senses being super, after all, caught it immediately.
“By my sword,” she gasped, “Don’t tell me…Captain Amazing isn’t….”
She held up her fingers about an inch apart. Fox couldn’t help it. She broke into a laugh, which Scarlet joined. A few moments later, she wiped a tear from her cheek.
“No, no…It’s not that. He’s perfectly adequately, um….equipped. Not too big, not too small, just…”
“Spill it, sister,” Scarlett urged. The Fox swallowed, hard.
“Well, let’s just say that, romantically? He’s not so awesome.”
“Do tell! Is he too aggressive? I do love an aggressive man. If he is and you don’t want him…”
“No, it’s not that either. He is definitely sure of himself, and likes to take the lead, but…”
The Silver Fox paused. Was she really going to get into this? She sighed again. May as well.
“Let’s just say…maybe he and the Minuteman should change names,” she admitted, blushing.
Scarlet roared. At first, it irritated Fox, but soon she found herself rolling with laughter as well.
“That’s ok sweetie. Minuteman would be better off as ‘The Living Plank’, anyway. He’s dreadfully boring in the sack.”
“What? Scarlet, don’t tell me…”
“Remember the Kxylyntll Invasion? Right after that. It was terrible…for someone so passionate about patriotism, he sure is mechanical in bed.”
“But I thought you were with the Pimpernel then!”
“Ha! The pimp part is right…I caught him cheating on me with that floozy, the Silk Psychic!”
“No! The one that looks like…”
“…Charlie Sheen in drag!” the pair said in unison, before falling into more laughter.
“Maybe you should have gone after the Mighty Hammer instead,” Fox suggested.
“Gay,” Scarlet sighed.
“Way, WAY too kinky.”
“Scarlet! Now you’re just being silly…is there anyone in the super community that you haven’t bedded and rejected?”
“What can I say, sweetie, a girl has needs. And it’s a limited dating pool when you have a supernaturally strengthened libido! I was going to aim for Captain Awesome, but now…”
Fox grinned, her blush still evident.
“Surely, there has to be someone out there who has met up to your needs…”
It was Scarlet’s turn to blush, and Fox jumped on that eagerly.
“There is! Oh, you have to tell me who!”
“Only if you promise to never whisper a word about this to anyone! And not to judge me!”
Fox crossed her heart. Scarlet nodded.
“Darkstar,” she said, barely above a whisper. Fox’s mouth fell open, her eyes widened in shock.
“Darkstar?! The villain???”
Scar frowned, looked away, but Fox touched her shoulder and turned her.
“Do tell..I promise I won’t judge.”
“I didn’t know it was Darkstar at the time. Nor he that I was the Scarlet Saber. We met in our mundanes…he was Derrick Devlin and I was Samantha Smythe. We met on one of those dating sites…I was trying to, you know, scratch the itch without dipping back into the pool of Super Disappointment. But…oh, Fox…”
Tears fell from Scarlet’s face, and Fox took her in a comforting embrace.
“It’s just…he was so gentle, Fox. Sweet. Tender. Caring. And by the stars, so very, very talented in bed.”
Fox was flabbergasted.
“Are we talking about the same Darkstar? The one who wants to rule with an iron fist? The one who tried to conquer at least three different nations just last week?”
“He isn’t all bad, you know. He just can’t stand chaos, conflict…so he tries to solve it by taking over. But on the inside…he’s so much different. And alas, in prison now. Again.”
“I’m sorry, Scarlet.”
“It’s ok, sweetie. I’ll…”
An explosion rocked in the distance, interrupting the two heroines. In a flash, they were up, and on their way to the scene. Moments later, they stood outside the Metro City Maximum Security Prison. The Mighty Hammer and Captain Amazing were already there, talking to the guards.
“What happened?” Fox asked.
“Breakout!” the Mighty Hammer said, his eyes gazing longingly at Captain Amazing’s tights. Captain Amazing turned, and approached the trio.
“Fear not, ladies…me and the Hammer can handle this one. Darkstar is loose…but we can take him.”
“We’ll pound his ass into the ground,” the Mighty Hammer exclaimed, high-fiving Captain Amazing, “and have him back behind bars in less than a minute!”
Fox and Scarlet burst into laughter.
They couldn’t help it.