Gout. The Disease of Kings. In the Middle Ages, it was considered an affliction of the wealthy, for only the wealthy were able to afford the rich foods that could lead to the demon that is gout.
These days, pretty much any one can get it. Mostly those on a protein heavy diet. And those who like to have a drink once in a while. People like me.
It is almost impossible to describe how bad gout hurts. But let me tell you, it’s really fucking bad. It kind of feels like a pair of long, burning hot needles have been pushed into the joints of my big toe, and are being slowly spread apart with acid as lubrication. Though they are exceedingly rare, as gout tends to mostly strike men, I have met two women who suffer from gout. One of them has had children, and says the pain of gout is far worse than childbirth ever was. It fucking hurts. It hurts so bad that even a light breeze can make it feel like your foot is being crushed in a two-ton press. Ouch!
So, when I first got gout, I changed a lot things about my diet. Cut out a lot of red meat. Stopped drinking beer (not that I ever did so excessively – maybe a twelve pack a month, at most), cut back on meats in general. But, one of the triggers for gout is weight loss, and I’ve been losing a lot of weight, so I should have known this was going to happen.
But god, does it suck. I do have ways to manage it. I have ibuprofen, which helps. I have a med that is pretty damned good at lessening the length of the attack called indomethacin. Unfortunately, I’m also one of the lucky ones who suffers from that drug’s rare side effect of random loss of consciousness. Yep, I just pass out. At random. I’ve done so twice already, just sitting here at work. Thankfully, I haven’t yet fallen out of my chair.
But there’s not much I can do about it. Grrrrrr.
The disease of Kings. Sometimes, I think I take this medieval thing too far.