Sorry for the melancholy…

Yesterday, clearly, I was in a bit of a melancholy mood. I don’t get into these often, but I have had a stressful past couple of days. I do have some excellent friends, all of whom did their best to try and distract and relieve as many of those stresses as they could, and for that, I am truly grateful. And yes, that includes you, my friends here who wrote me or commented to make sure all was well. It is. Pains of the past can sometimes flare and remind us of where we stumbled, but eventually, they too fade into the obscurity of willfully ignored memories.

Today, alas, has had stresses of its own. I sent my step-son (I use the term only for clarification here; in everyday life, he’s my boy and I’m his daddy) to go spend the next three weeks with his biological father. A man who never calls, never writes. Sees him once a year at best. A man who escaped by water-muddying and shit-flinging a prison sentence for something horrible, but for which I have no doubts he is guilty. And damn, was that hard. I love him…he’s my littlest boy, whether he was spawned from my genes or not, and knowing that he didn’t really want to go made it that much harder. When he climbed into said douchebag’s parent’s vehicle, he yelled out, “I’ll miss you daddy! I can’t wait to come home and play with you!”

The feels, man…the feels. My eyes water even just typing this.

But things will be ok. I’m going to spend some time over the next couple of weekends helping my wife clean and redecorate his room. I’m going to draw a mural on his wall, with him as a character amongst all of his favorite super-heroes and friends. We’ll paint it all up, and have that for him to come home to. I’m going to finally fix his home computer, so he can play his favorite PBS Kids games.

And I’m going to miss the hell out of him.

Can’t wait till you come home and play with me too, buddy.

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7 comments

  1. The three weeks will fly by and he will be back again before you even know it. You’re a great dad! ;)

    1. Awww thanks Helen! I know they will fly by. But ya know, I’ve never been away from his life for more than a week since he was 2 years old. Its really strange, him being gone!

      1. I can only imagine. I don’t think I’ve ever been away from my kids that long and having it be with someone like that only makes it harder. I will think positive energy and goodness your way (here’s crossing fingers it actually works). Until then, just breathe!

  2. I can relate to this and though my boys are older now and the situations are different – or shall I say have evolved, it is still hard. Wait till college… My younger one (16, so not that young) is with me every other week and it is still devastating to me – on Sunday nights when he goes to his dad’s. I go home and I am alone with the exception of our pooch. I can assure you the three weeks will go by and he will be in your arms before you know it.

  3. Awww what a good daddy (and mommy) any kid would be happy to come home to that!! Time will pass quickly and he’ll be home with you again before you know it. :-)

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