My goal when creating this blog was to use it as a way of making myself write something every day. I’m doing this because I need to form the habits that will make me miss it when I haven’t done it, so that it becomes instinctual, a need instead of a want.
In some ways, it’s already working. I didn’t write yesterday, and I am disappointed in myself for not doing so.
Yes, yesterday was extraordinarily busy for me. I woke up early, had a little “grown up time” with my wife, then got out of bed, cleaned up, and set forth making breakfast for her, the kids, and for some very awesome friends and their kids. One of said friends is a single mom who works really hard, and we thought it’d be nice to be able to give her a little treat for Mother’s Day. The other one’s husband works a swing shift, making breakfast time his sleeping time, so we had her and her kids over too. At the risk of sounding a braggart, I’m a pretty decent cook, and my french toast recipe is a favorite amongst our friends. So I made a nice big breakfast of it, with bacon and coffee and all things my dearest ladies love. We hung out for a bit, drinking coffee and chatting, playing with the kids, and in general enjoying each others company. My own sweet Mother came over around 11:00ish, as we had plans to go out shopping and pick her out dinner, to be cooked by me. We did, and spent a great afternoon together. My mom really is awesome! Then back home, to do some chores I’d promised my darling wife, and to prep for making dinner as we had a lot planned. More friends came over, and we cooked, ate, talked, and made merry till nearly 11:00 at night. By that point, I’ll admit, I was exhausted. I still took time to sit and watch an episode of Game of Thrones with my oldest boy, who had spent the weekend with his mother. Before I knew it, it was after midnight, and with me having work this morning and having to get up early to get my youngest ready for school and on the bus, I just kind of ran out of time. I tried to sit down and write something last night, but my eyes were crossing and I decided, to hell with it. I’d write this morning.
Thing is, it’s ok to miss a day of writing. There is no one holding me to this goal save for myself. There is no paycheck pending on my ability to Jot down a few hundred words everyday, no taskmaster threatening me with pain or torture if I don’t sit down and write. And though I have fallen into this trap in the past, I don’t write this blog for anyone’s sake but my own – I love that I have attracted some awesome followers with some incredible insights and minds, but I love them separate from my reasons for writing here. This is for me. This is to get me back into the habit of creating, imagining, weaving words.
And you know what? I did miss it. I didn’t like the feeling of missing a day. So here I am. Sure, I’ll make it into work a touch late this morning, but that’s ok. I wanted to do this, over an above my normal writing goals for today, because *I* wanted to do it. And that, I think, is the sign of a habit beginning to form.